Tag: writing

Shakin’ My Groove Thing

Hello! It’s been too long since I last posted because, well…Life. Including unexpected early retirement, family medical challenges, traveling, finishing my novel, et cetera. But I’m happy to report that I have in fact danced a lot since my previous post. After a friend gave me a salsa lesson gift certificate for my last birthday, I took some private and group salsa and bachata lessons. While I haven’t yet managed to push myself out of my introverted comfort zone to venture into the social dance scene again, Spring is just around the corner with its endless possibilities.

I also enjoyed adult group tap class again, at two different studios (one in my suburb and one in the city, with different teachers and age demographics), in which I learned more about tap and myself. Last fall I also took more private ballroom dance lessons, working on waltz, tango, foxtrot, and Viennese. This reinvigorated my dream of dancing the Viennese waltz in Vienna, preferably during the balls season, and ideally on New Year’s Eve. I learned that a dance friend of mine has the same dream, and we talked about traveling to Vienna together around our 60th birthdays, which happen to be a few months apart.

Every one of these dance styles and experiences is a gift. Another gift I’m grateful for is the supreme joy I feel when dancing around my living room (or sometimes my basement or hotel room) by myself, playing my favorite songs on the Spotify list I created. Sometimes I blast the speaker with disco lights that strobe to the beat. Sometimes I dance with my eyes closed, and am transported to whatever decade and time in my life each song evokes. Every single time — whether I’m doing the twist, swing dancing, salsa dancing, disco dancing, freeform dancing — or all of the above, as I did tonight, I am 100% guaranteed to feel better after shakin’ my groove thing without a care in the world. If you haven’t turned your living room or basement into your own personal dance floor, I highly recommend trying it!

Dance Therapy

[[Note: this post was written in May, 2024]]

Dancing is my preferred form of therapy. Heartbroken and fresh in the shock of betrayal that ended a three year relationship, I forced myself to attend a West Coast swing class followed by a social dance. It was out of my comfort zone and I was numb in mourning, but proud of myself for getting out, interacting with others, and enjoying movement. The following week I participated in group ballroom lessons, private ballroom lessons, and a ballroom/Latin social dance. I was feeling slightly lighter, though I broke down crying with my teacher when I couldn’t master the Viennese steps and had to excuse myself during a waltz with a stranger at the social dance when a “trigger song” that tugged at my heartstrings was played.

Weeks later, I felt emotionally lighter and physically stronger in my private lessons. I was joking and laughing with my teacher, and mastered the tricky Viennese steps we were working on. I felt a little less raw when dancing to another trigger song. After my women’s adult tap class I realized my brain was thinking less about my breakup for longer stretches of time. I could tell from my dancing — which requires mind, heart, body, and soul — that with each passing week, grief was working its way through those so that I could return to myself again.

A month later I attended a women’s retreat at the ocean. It was a joyous few days of reconnecting with myself and over 40 amazing women. We walked the beach, did yoga, made a craft, hiked in the forest, played games, did a writing activity, sang songs, and chatted over meals. And on Saturday night, we danced for hours. We danced and laughed with abandon in a big circle around a large djembe drum. We danced to disco, Motown, salsa, and pop hits from various decades. We took turns dancing in the middle and banging the drum. We bonded through the joy of expressive movement. I went to sleep exhausted and energized, and dreamt of choreographing a group dance number. The next morning, everyone shared something they do when they need spiritual renewal. Most of the responses were spending time with friends, walking in nature, and dancing. My answer was dancing.