Tag: dance

Dance Therapy

[[Note: this post was written in May, 2024]]

Dancing is my preferred form of therapy. Heartbroken and fresh in the shock of betrayal that ended a three year relationship, I forced myself to attend a West Coast swing class followed by a social dance. It was out of my comfort zone and I was numb in mourning, but proud of myself for getting out, interacting with others, and enjoying movement. The following week I participated in group ballroom lessons, private ballroom lessons, and a ballroom/Latin social dance. I was feeling slightly lighter, though I broke down crying with my teacher when I couldn’t master the Viennese steps and had to excuse myself during a waltz with a stranger at the social dance when a “trigger song” that tugged at my heartstrings was played.

Weeks later, I felt emotionally lighter and physically stronger in my private lessons. I was joking and laughing with my teacher, and mastered the tricky Viennese steps we were working on. I felt a little less raw when dancing to another trigger song. After my women’s adult tap class I realized my brain was thinking less about my breakup for longer stretches of time. I could tell from my dancing — which requires mind, heart, body, and soul — that with each passing week, grief was working its way through those so that I could return to myself again.

A month later I attended a women’s retreat at the ocean. It was a joyous few days of reconnecting with myself and over 40 amazing women. We walked the beach, did yoga, made a craft, hiked in the forest, played games, did a writing activity, sang songs, and chatted over meals. And on Saturday night, we danced for hours. We danced and laughed with abandon in a big circle around a large djembe drum. We danced to disco, Motown, salsa, and pop hits from various decades. We took turns dancing in the middle and banging the drum. We bonded through the joy of expressive movement. I went to sleep exhausted and energized, and dreamt of choreographing a group dance number. The next morning, everyone shared something they do when they need spiritual renewal. Most of the responses were spending time with friends, walking in nature, and dancing. My answer was dancing.

Humbled

This week and last I took two adult tap classes and private ballroom lesson. I loved them all for different reasons, and my teachers are all great for different reasons. One tap class focuses on performance choreography, and the other on classical training and tap history. Tapping in sync with a group of women at different stages in life feels nourishing and empowering. In the Wednesday night class we watched a classic clip with Gregory Hines paying homage to Sammy Davis Jr., then attempted to do our own paradiddles routine. That was humbling after watching the greats and then our professional teacher do a complex fast sequence with several top teen dancers in the studio. I was proud of myself for being able to keep up for most of the slow version of the paradiddle routine (single, single, double, double, single – repeat; single, single, triple, triple, single). It takes tremendous focus and mindfulness. There is no time for negative self talk if I miss a step, because then I’m lost and don’t want to throw off the others as we create a beautiful syncopated group sound.

I was also humbled in my ballroom lesson this week (and every lesson I’ve ever had because the artform is so technically complex). My awesome teacher took me back to ballroom walking basics (brush heel on 1, toe step on 2, 3, heel down on the &…). Learning to walk again is just what I needed to improve my base and foundational skills. There’s no faking footwork when one “ballroom walks” across the studio alone, just like there’s no faking tap footwork (it is clearly audible when one missteps). 

Another epiphany I had is updating my previous observation that dance is about physics and feelings to: dance is about physics, feelings, and personality (and connection in any type of partner dancing). We are practicing smooth ballroom style (this week was waltz and foxtrot, last week waltz and tango), which involves letting go of close hold for each partner to express themselves (e.g., with a dramatic arm movement). As a dancing scientist, I am continually challenged to balance physics with feelings and personality!

New Year, More Dance!

Happy New Year, friends! I am thrilled to be resurrecting my 2017 dance blog and happy you are reading this! Fall 2023 was challenging for me, as I was very ill with pneumonia for several months while also adjusting to the isolating “empty nest” phase. One of my goals/intentions/resolutions for a joyous 2024 is to dance as much as possible and I’m off to a good start. I enjoyed a fun fourth ballroom lesson at my new studio on Friday. While I’m still very rusty from taking a long pandemic-related hiatus, the fundamentals are coming back slowly but surely and my “dance bliss” practicing American smooth waltz and tango was as effervescent as ever. We joked about how I tend to dance like a scientist (that I am, analytically breaking down the moves and mechanics) and I am grateful for the gentle reminders that dance is about both feelings and physics. Every lesson is a humbling experience, since there is always more to learn and work on with ballroom dance technique. Professional dancers make it look effortless, but in fact every step involves mindful awareness of balance, legs and footwork, partner connection, and frame posture (torso, head, arms and hands). Graceful execution is a complex equation of many variables in every second of a dance. I find the mental and physical challenge incredibly fun and rewarding.

In addition to more ballroom lessons in the year ahead, I look forward to starting a new series of adult tap classes this week and I tried salsa, bachata, and hip-hop lessons at a nearby studio open house last week. I had a blast and it was an enriching social experience with a packed room of passionate dancers. Because I had dabbled in those styles previously I was able to keep up and fit in dance-wise. However, as we rotated bachata partners I couldn’t help notice that I’m decades older than most people there. Thankfully it didn’t seem to matter on the dance floor -but that observation led me to ponder afterwards if some dance styles are more suited to certain age groups than others. A trip that night down the Google rabbit hole led me to find many inspirational “older” dancers (including women decades older than me) that emphasized age is just a number and that if people love to dance they should as long as they can with whatever styles bring them joy. I strive to be one of those women! Feel free to share your thoughts in the Contact page of this blog about your favorite styles of dance.