Dance Therapy

[[Note: this post was written in May, 2024]]

Dancing is my preferred form of therapy. Heartbroken and fresh in the shock of betrayal that ended a three year relationship, I forced myself to attend a West Coast swing class followed by a social dance. It was out of my comfort zone and I was numb in mourning, but proud of myself for getting out, interacting with others, and enjoying movement. The following week I participated in group ballroom lessons, private ballroom lessons, and a ballroom/Latin social dance. I was feeling slightly lighter, though I broke down crying with my teacher when I couldn’t master the Viennese steps and had to excuse myself during a waltz with a stranger at the social dance when a “trigger song” that tugged at my heartstrings was played.

Weeks later, I felt emotionally lighter and physically stronger in my private lessons. I was joking and laughing with my teacher, and mastered the tricky Viennese steps we were working on. I felt a little less raw when dancing to another trigger song. After my women’s adult tap class I realized my brain was thinking less about my breakup for longer stretches of time. I could tell from my dancing — which requires mind, heart, body, and soul — that with each passing week, grief was working its way through those so that I could return to myself again.

A month later I attended a women’s retreat at the ocean. It was a joyous few days of reconnecting with myself and over 40 amazing women. We walked the beach, did yoga, made a craft, hiked in the forest, played games, did a writing activity, sang songs, and chatted over meals. And on Saturday night, we danced for hours. We danced and laughed with abandon in a big circle around a large djembe drum. We danced to disco, Motown, salsa, and pop hits from various decades. We took turns dancing in the middle and banging the drum. We bonded through the joy of expressive movement. I went to sleep exhausted and energized, and dreamt of choreographing a group dance number. The next morning, everyone shared something they do when they need spiritual renewal. Most of the responses were spending time with friends, walking in nature, and dancing. My answer was dancing.